Archive for the ‘newport’ Category

Best Lost episode
March 4, 2008
I’m Huge!
October 17, 2007So, i just went to albany to visit and to go to my friends wedding. Showing my new R.I. drivers license to my friends, one of them pointed out to me that according to my license, i am 570 pounds in weight. How do you mess that up? Can someone who’s 570 even drive a car. They probably can’t even get out of bed.
I can’t wait to get pulled over. The officer’s going to take one look and be like ” wow! yoe look great! good for you! how’d you do it?”
I’ll respond, ” Good diet, exercise and lots of methanphetamines!”
Or maybe i should try and convince him that i actually am 570 pounds. “Large, heavy bones…yup. i wear it well. lots of water weight. it’s all in my ankles. i have very dense, muscular ankles.”
Are you kidding me? 570? Who hired these people?
