Things you don’t want to hear on a bus or subway

- my water broke
- i was conceived on that seat
- sure hope the track holds
- next stop harlem!
- i don’t think it’s contagious
- now, Akmed, NOW!
- should this be bleeding?
- wanna trade shoes?
- Woooo! just did a shot with the driver!
- pull my finger
- hold this and act casual
- wanna buy a monkey?
- is that your vomit, cause that’s my pee